Are you REALLY old?
I mean REEEEEEEALLY OLD?
Are you SO OLD you knew all fourteen matyred guys called Valentine?
Not sure what to do to remember them any more?
Then this guide is for you!
So you have had an overpriced dinner at all of the best restaurants, tried every kink in the book and have more black roses than you can shake a stick at....What IS there left to do on Valentines?
Firstly you could make your 3,000 year old sweetheart a card..."BLAH!" you exclaim, "We've given each other cards before!"
This one is special!
Find out their favourite blood type and paint a heart onto a piece of white card.
Scratch and lick cards are so much more sensual than plain old, mass produced, Human cards.
Instead of a pointless, dead plant this year, why not lure home dinner with a plant name? Lily, Rose, Iris and Daisy being popular choices this year.
Surprise your loved one with tickets to see their favourite band play...Blutengel, Theatres Des Vampires, The Scary Bitches...Who will you pick?
Everybody knows Vampires can't eat chocolate any more right? But you can still drink it, let Martha Stewart show you how in this handy dandy recipe (real vampires swap the red food colouring for real blood).
Plan a romantic getaway to a Vampire friendly attraction: Bran Castle, Fangtasia or even the town of Sporks are all great this time of the year!
Have a night of giggles, curl up and watch some human made vampire movies and laugh at the silliness...Pfft mirrors? What were they thinking!
Massacre some famous Love Poets over dinner!
Or you could just go on a romantic killing spree for two!
Here's to many more years to come of Vampire Valentines!
This entry has been part of Holly's Horrorland's Vampire Day Soiree, if you enjoyed this pot please click the above banner to see what some of the other participants posted (and if you thought this post was a load of un-romantic sweaty bollocks, click it anyway because then all the other posts will be so much better in comparison!)
One last thing: If you're feeling like a bit of a night in this Valentines and want something a bit Goth as your background music then head over to 1 radio between 5pm and 7pm for Screams from The Charnel House; Tainted Love Special with DJ Ghost and then again between 9pm and 10pm for The Gothic Evening with Kev36663 (All times in GMT adjust to your own timezone accordingly).