Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Forgotten Playlists

I went through a box of books and magazines in my parent's shed that had been there since I left university and found a playlist stashed inside a copy of Vogue

I didn't write it, I hate Metallica, my friend gave me these song recommendations after I spent a night wandering around the ruins if an Anglo Saxon church with her in the middle of the night, because that's the kind of thing I did when I was 18.
I miss her, but we lost touch after she attempted suicide and sent me an MSN message telling me that she had taken pills and wanted to say goodbye. I didn't know what to do so I told someone who I knew lived near by and they went around and rang an ambulance.  
She sent me an angry message and never spoke to me again.
A few years back she turned up at a gig where I was working the door, I said hello and she blanked me, shoved the ticket at me to tear off the side and held her hand out for me to stamp it, she wouldn't look me in the eye.
I don't know if she's still alive, I still feel guilty for hurting her and selfish for not wanting to lose her, I ended up losing her anyway and this is all I have left, and it was tucked away and forgotten about.
I still wonder if she knew I'd get her an ambulance that time anyway. 
I hope she is alive and that things are better for her now.

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