Zombies! Run!

So for the past year I have been running 2-3 times a week using the Zombies! Run apps from Six To Start, I started out with the 5k app before moving on to series 1, completing all the race missions, totalling radio mode and now I have just two series 1 supply missions remaining before I start series 2!

The app is an addictive mix of audio drama and actual running and I absolutely love it! 

There have been some days where I've really not felt up to running and it's been raining or snowing but I've wanted to know what happens next so I got myself out there anyway! The downside is on the occasions when I've been too ill to run (or when it was WAY too hot in Tunisia) I've gotten a bit frustrated!

5k Training App

This is what I started out with, and I would recommend it to anybody interested in the apps regardless of whether you're a running n00b like I was (seriously the first mission half killed me!), or you're a bit fitter because it gives a lot of background on characters, by the time I had finished the 5k app I had developed the biggest crush on Dr Myers ever (not bad from just hearing her voice!), which I suspect I might not have happened had I dived straight into series 1, and I might not have been quite so emotionally involved in some of her storylines!

Basically the 5k app starts you out slowly, usually with Dr Myers (although as the missions progress you later meet most of the other runners and a few other residents of Abel), setting you tasks to build up your fitness. I managed my first 5k after two weeks and managed 7k by the end, though I plateaued there for a while.

Series 1

Moving on to the main app, I really enjoyed the stories in series 1, I laughed on many occasions and I even cried once (relating to one of the Dr Myers heavy stories that explains her pre-apocalypse life), and again the fantastic story telling pushed me onwards and upwards. I didn't get any further than 7k in a single mission during series 1, my stamina did however get a lot better, much less puffing and panting. The downside however was that a lot of my knee socks stopped fitting properly around halfway through the series because my calves are suddenly massive!

The cliff hanger at the end really upset me and I wanted so much to dive straight into series 2, but I had decided to clear all of the race missions, radio mode and the supply runs before I start  2.

Race Missions

These actually take place before the end of series 1 chronologically, but I ended up saving them for after series 1, but whatever works for you!

There are six missions, two 5ks (easy as pie!), two 10ks and two 20ks.

The 10ks were a bit of a challenge initially, I discovered that there is just over 10k between my house and my friend's house, and right next to her's is a great fabric market on Fridays, so my initial plan was to do the 5k on the Tuesday then run to my friend's house on the Friday, look at fabric and then get the bus home.

Except that I managed to get horrifically lost and her fiance had to come rescue me... Oops.

The following week I did a small run with some of the radio mode and then decided to split the first 20k in half and run to my friend's house again, which I managed without getting lost.

The stories were again very gripping, and actually a little bit more exciting than series 1, and give a bit of insight into what may have caused the outbreak.

Radio Mode

Next I decided to finish off radio mode, radio mode kicks in at the end of regular series 1 missions if you don't stop running, so I had progressed a little way through radio mode but was nowhere near completing it. Radio mode is (usually) a lot more cheery than the main stories and centres around Jack and Eugene trying to run a radio station using only the tracks you have in your playlist, and trying to get news out to people in and around Abel about the goings on in the area. Towards the end however they had some call ins about people's experiences of the apocalypse, and as gripping as they were there was one from someone who had been in Edinburgh that was a little bit too real for me, it's not a complaint or anything, if anything I suppose it just goes to how how well written everything is, but Edinburgh was kind of my safe place when I was away at uni, I would escape up to Edinburgh whenever I had the chance so that I wouldn't have to spend any longer in Galashiels than I had to, so to hear about places that I knew crawling with the undead was a little traumatic!

I managed to get another three 10ks out of what I had left of radio mode.

Supply Missions

I'm not really enjoying these as much as the others, they're still fun,but the stories are a lot less gripping.

In all though I'm looking forward to starting series 2, more awesome stories and (hopefully!) more Dr Myers, and with any luck byt the time I work through 2, the side quests, radio mode 2 and the airdrop missions series 3 will have started!

Drunk Dial of Cthulhu

Cupcake martinis whilst playing call of Cthulhu are the way forward!

Made this skirt this morning

New sewing machine Kev got me for Christmas handles stretch fabric very well :)

Song Lyrics that make you happy

So I've become a bit addicted to the "On this day" app on Facebook, and since Valentines I've been re-reading over the saga of the break up with my ex of doom (TL;dr I knew that things were never going to work out and that he was using me by that point, but I wanted to dump him in person, he instead ditched me over yahoo instant messenger and moved onto the next gullible person), and subsequent couple of months of e-stalking Kev (I don't recommend sitting on Facebook all night waiting for someone to post so you can reply to it as a form of flirting, but meh worked for us haha), and raising money for my charity headshave.

In amongst that I rediscovered a bunch of old quiz memes and it's funny how things have changed with some of them.

Turns out I was a bit of an emo in 2009, these days I'm a much more positive person.

So lets compare how my answers to this differ. In 2009 I gave these answers to this meme:

1) "Fuck fashion Fuck, fuck the fashion Spit out victims Fashion fuck you"- Fuck Fashion by Angelspit (Odd song for a fashion student perhaps, but good to listen to whenever I feel myself becoming cloney 

2) "I don't believe in God, but I pray for you"- Faraway Volume 2 by Apocalyptica 

3) "My weakness is that I care to much"- Scars by Papa Roach (Don't hate on me for quoteing Papa Roach, this line from this song has described me for years, it was even a feature in my memory box that I made for college) 

4) "How's it feel to be a freak? Oh so pale and so unique?"- Renagade Cavelcade by Ash 

5 "I'm just a little girl you see, but there's a hell of a lot more to me, don't ever underestimate what I can do, don't ever tell me how I'm ment to be"- Just a Little Girl by Amy Studt (Sick of people assumeing I know nothing because I'm only 19) 

6) "I'd show a smile but I'm to weak, I'd share with you could I only speak, just how much this hurts me"- This Time Imperfect by A.F.I. (I don't share my problems because when I do, nine times out of ten people make it worse by trying to help) 

7) "We are so young, our lives have just begun but allready we are considering escape from this world"- Join Me in Death by HIM (the whole of the Razorblade Romance Album is special to me, that just happens to be my favorite track) 

8) "Aaaaand when I lay there in a dreeeeeeeam, it' all their faces that I've seen"- Strange mystery track on the end of Libertad (I believe it might be called Sweet Caroline) by Velvet Revolver (It makes me smile and wonder what the hell possesed them to write that one!) 

9) "Hold your breath, count to ten fall apart and start again"- English Summer Rain by Placebo 

10) "We are wild, we are free through the darkness follow me!"- Sisters of the light by Xandria 

Now in 2014 I would say:

1) "Fuck fashion Fuck, fuck the fashion Spit out victims Fashion fuck you"- Fuck Fashion by Angelspit
Yeah that's still there, if there's one thing fashion uni taught me it's that creativity is not appreciated in fashion, everything is planned for years so that the mould can't be broken. Fuck that, fuck moulds.

2) "And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom." - Happy Phantom by Tori Amos
I'm 98% happy most days, if I were to get hit by a bus or whatever I wouldn't feel like my life had been a waste of time. I've been happy, I've been inspired, I've loved, I've made people happy, inspired people and I am loved.

3) "My name is Tristan and I am ALIVE." - Tristan by Patrick Wolf.

I have a life now, I have control, I make my own decisions and it is a very long time now since I found myself counting down until I could escape.

4) "I'm still talking BUT YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!" - Chrome by VNV Nation.

Slightly less positive one here in that sometimes I do feel a lot like I'm yelling at the top of my lungs about important things but nobody is hearing.

5) "I'll tell you something, I am a wolf but, I like to wear sheep's clothing." - Temptation Waits by Garbage.

So a lot of people seem to look at me and think I'll be completely different to how I am, surprising them kind of amuses me. :)

6) "Respect yourself and others will surround you." Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants.

It's true, the more I realise that hey maybe I'm not so bad a person after all, the more (and the better) friends I gain.

7) "Which of us holds the hand me downs, which of us wears the wedding gowns?" Is She Secretly On My Side by Unwoman.

I know it's petty, but I do find it funny in a sort of schadenfreude way that someone who tried to wreck my life is now stuck with my cast offs and now I'm living her dreams.

8) "I am not an old school conservationist I wrote a bunch of hits, got the elites pissed" - Destroy, Improve, Rebuild by Faderhead. 

I've never written any hits, at present anyway I can't write music for shit, but I can agree with the sentiment.

"We won't give up, we won't give in, we won't go quietly away." - Halo by The Cruxshadows.

Words to live by.

9) "Every day there's a war to fight and if I win or lose nevermind." - Ready For The Good Times by Shakira.

10) "I'm not a Pandora, I'm much more like that girl in the mirror." - Suspended in Gaffa by Kate Bush

Made a pair if leggings :)

Needs bacon!

Got Kev eating vegetarian food!

Very much in love with the dress Dame Helen Mirren wore to the BAFTAs, loved her speech too :)

I am broken

Marco's beer!

Faderhead, Aesthetic Perfection and Terrolokaust on one bill was awesome, but now I am made of broken.

I wanted to steal Tim's sparkley drums!

Lady of Webs

New set by Jo Ann Photography from last weekend

corset and skirt by Forever in Black

The location was St Mary's Visitor Centre in Gateshead, which is a converted church, so long as you're respectful it's possible to shoot there (the previous week a Zombie film took place there!)

Full set on my page

Samhain Photography Blog Feature

Not much to say today (I am still full of ill) but you should check out Samhain Photography's blog entry on Curvy/Plus Sized Modelling in which I am featured.

Marc by Marc Jacobs A/W 14/15

Very interesting collection, quite futurepunk if that's a thing? Well it is now.

Makes me want to fill my wardrobe with parachute pants :)

KITTEHS!

via Birthday Express

I sort of need all of these in my life so I can have a cat themed birthday party on my way down to London in April.

And then I will go fet clubbing haha.

Daaaaaaaaaate Night!

So I had one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong (I have a cold, our washing machine flooded the kitchen, the cat bit me, etc), so Kev took me for burgers at The Brandling Villa in South Gosforth, Newcastle.

The menu was all kinds of amazing!

The place itself was pretty too :)

They're also dog friendly (which I guess is why they let such an awful bitch like me in)

Kev went for the Porcco Rosso Duluxe Edition, and made a face I've never seen him make in public when he bit into it, so I guess it was pretty good!

And I had a veggie version of the Maharaja Mac.... Foodgasm!

Illllllllll

Not well, got germs :(

Ghosts in the Fog preview

From my shoot yesterday with Jo Ann Photography

Outfit by Forever in Black 

My cleavage thinks it's in Braveheart!

Cry freeeeeeedom!

Found some books from when I was a teenager

Hair of the day - Odango

Dirndl Love

via Dirndl Online

I seem to have become obsessed with Dirndls, perhaps it is a natural progression for someone influenced by Lolita and Dolly Kei to start drawing influences from traditional clothing with similar silhouettes.

Myrioscope

I find myself more attracted to colours lately.

I still love black more than anything but colours have been seeping into my wardrobe.

Sometimes I don't wear black at all.

Is this like a mid-life crisis for Goths?

I hope not,I want to live past 50.

Body Shaming seems to have hit a new Low (trigger warning)

photo by Graeme Owens Photography 

A few weeks back I had a photo shoot with Graeme Owens Photography, he was very fun and easy to work with and was very professional. I am delighted with the pictures and all in all very happy with how the shoot went.

I get that not everybody likes the outfit, I’m fine with that, the world would be boring if we all liked the same thing. I get that not everybody likes my body, I get that, some people hate plus sizes, I got over it.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the email that was sent to me last week that gave tips on how I would look “so much better” if I lost weight and featured a poorly airbrushed version of one of the photos from my shoot, edited without Graeme’s permission.

edited version on the left, original on the right.

I was pretty gobsmacked that someone thought that it was appropriate and helpful to do something like this.

At first when I thought this was just one person I was genuinely worried that maybe this person had some issues with someone perhaps body policing them and they chose to take it out on me, and in ways that is still a concern for me, and I do see how that can happen we’re fed a diet of shame culture every day by the media. If we don’t fit some impossible standard we’re supposed to starve ourselves of the things we enjoy, exercise until our muscles start to devour themselves  and spend all our money on surgery to please other people’s eyes so it must be a bit of a shock to encounter someone who doesn't want to play ball and is quite happy how they are.

Then I discovered that actually this was just one of many manipulations from a photoshop thread on 4chan where I was described as “Hard Mode” (thread archive link ).

Now let me straighten something out, I have absolutely no issue with people practicing with photoshop, photoshop is a wonderful tool. I also have no issue with people who photoshop their own images or ask someone else to alter their images, but a line is crossed when someone’s photo is taken and altered without their consent, and all but a handful of the photos in this thread appear to have been used without the consent of the person in the picture or the photographer.

“Chose something random off Cosplay.com”

”I have no idea how to fix that crotch.”

”someone photoshop this to something fappable”

a few quotes from the thread

People do not exist to please your eyes or your genitals, attempting to force someone to become your wank bank material is disgusting. You have a problem with fat people, ugly people, people with skin that is darker than yours and your response is not to get over your prejudices but to digitally alter people’s faces and bodies than you are a far more disgusting person than I am.

The point of this post isn't to baww that bad people on the internet did bad things to me, yes it did upset me that my photo was used in this way, but the reason I wrote this is to expose that it’s not just me that this has happened to, (if you use the text search at the top of the archive page there are hundreds of threads like this), and my point is to say that this is not ok and we shouldn't let this culture of policing each other’s looks go any further.

Hellhound

My nose is cold.

My nose is always cold.

It must be because I'm such a bitch.

I have my favourite corset back :)

All repaired and looking better than ever :)

Battlemented

We build all these walls up around ourselves.

They aren't physical walls, but emotional barriers to stop us getting hurt.

Sometimes though they do more harm than good.

Maybe we need to hurt now and then?

So long as there are more good feelings than bad surely it's ok?

When I was younger I tried to build walls, but they were just falling in on me the whole time.

I was trying to stop myself from hurting but I was just hurting myself more.

That was stupid.

I'm glad I'm braver now.

Luna

via QiQi

How adorable is she? I'm not usually fond of fursuits in Lolita, but this is so well made!

She's so cute :3

Mirrors

Mirrors are strange don't you think?

Sometimes I look into the mirror and I have no idea who that is staring back, that's not me,that's someone else.

I can't possibly be that girl, she's awesome, she has like 90% of the things I want and she's not even 25 yet.

How dare she be happy?

There must be something wrong, something that niggles at the corners of her mind and makes her worry that it won't last?

Maybe it's mirrors.