Wednesday, 8 June 2011

I am not dressing for you

My favourite shoes, a pair of Pleaser Pole dancing shoes with LED light up skulls in the platform.

It's no secret to my subbies (as in subscribers, I'm not quite Mistress yet!), that I love shoes.
Shoes, shoes, shoes, especially shoes with HUGE heels, these shoes RULE!
Someday I will probably break my ankles trying to teach myself to totter around in ever taller heels (I'm currently wearing in a pair of 4" heeled thigh high boots, while they aren't that tall compared to some of my others they force my feet into an unusual shape and I find it quite hard to balance in them, which  resulted in me tripping and getting my foot stuck in a box yesterday), but I still love shoes.
I have loved shoes for as long as I can remember, certainly as long as I have been allowed to have at least some input into what I was wearing.
I remember when I was little that I wanted a pair of shiny, black, Mary Jane shoes, but I never got any (I don't remember if it was because we couldn't find any to fit me, or because my mother didn't like them), so I was forever envious of my school friends in their pretty little shoes.
When I got a little older (around seven or eight) I begged my mother for high heels, I always had a fascination with being tall. I wanted to be the tallest person in the class, and never was (which made me envious of my mam because she had been the tallest person in her class as a child), she wouldn't let me had any at first, but eventually she gave a little and I got my first "clumpy boots", a pair of POD shoes with a very small heel.
As a teenager I got interested in Goth, and at 14 I saved up my pocket money for MONTHS to buy a pair of New Rocks.
I had originally wanted the "cowboy boot" style ones with the spindly heel, I thought they were pretty, unfortunately they were to narrow for my wide feet and so I had to go for a pair with chunky heels.
A year or so later, I found the part of Gothic fashion that called to me most. Gothic Lolita.
Mana Sama

I think what attracted me to Gothic Lolita in the first place was Mana's amazing shoes, and ever since I have coveted a pair of platform Mary Janes.
I've not yet got a pair, but some day I think I will have some.

Now as I said, the reason I have a collection of shoes is because I love shoes, I love how they look and I love how they make me feel.
I wear my shoes FOR ME because I ENJOY THEM.
Twice this week now I have read people say that high heels are only worn to impress men, or that they are "tools of the patriarchy".

I got my first boyfriend at the age of 15, he was a short arse and he HATED me wearing heels because I towered over him like some kind of Valkerye  Giantess, he constantly tried to get me to wear flats instead (I hate wearing flats, they hurt my feet), my second boyfriend, while a nicer person also disliked seeing me in heels, along came my girlfriend who didn't give a damn so long as I was happy, then another boyfriend who was pretty tall but wanted to keep me shorter than him so he could prove his manliness or some such rubbish (he was a bit of manipulative dick and liked keeping me "in my place", funnily enough the only ex I no longer speak to), then finally along came Kev, and he also doesn't really give a damn what I wear so long as I'm happy, he is a fan of me wearing heels BUT he doesn't try and force me to wear them.
As far as I'm concerned him liking my footwear is one of those "added bonus" kinds of things.

If I were dressing for men, I very much doubt I would be wearing Lolita.
Given my experiences, if I wanted to dress to impress men I would have to get rid of most of my shoes, and while I realise that three member of the male gender isn't all of them, a lot of the tall heel wearers I know who date men (I say tall heel wearers because they aren't all women), keep telling me the same thing, men find heels imposing.

So before jumping to conclusions about why people wear what they wear, do what they do or shave, pluck and wax what they shave, pluck or wax, maybe try asking them first.


I'm planning on making more of a light hearted post tomorrow, possibly a little tour of my shoe collection :)


Day 2: Favourite animal

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