Sunday 27 October 2013

Circles


Other times it feels like I'm going in
circles.
Round and round and round it goes
my
life
on
repeat
There are small circles,like breathing and
eating
of course but then there are bigger circles.
Find
someone,
trust
someone
think that this time.this will be the fairytale friendship
this
time will be different, we will be friends *forever*
and
for
a
while
everything is great, I'm happy,they're happy and then
just
when everything seems at it's best something happens
I
move
away,
she
moves away, she just doesn't call any more, I forget to
write,
we fall out over something silly and I'm to stubborn to say
sorry
she 
moves
away,
she gets involved with druggies, decides she doesn't want 
anything
to do with goths any more, gets married, has a bunch of kids
and
a
divorce
and
forgets all about me, I move away and don't email him as much
as
I should, she scares me and I say something I regret, I move away 
and
don't
email
her
as much as I should, I move away and she deletes her Facebook and 
we
loose touch, she misheard me in a club and got mad at me for something
I
didn't
say,
she
was in love with someone who hates me, we ran into eachother years later 
and
promised to get back in touch but we didn't, I trusted her, called her sister,
stuck
up
for
her
when people tried to bring her down, was there for her when nobody else
was
she betrayed my trust, talked behind my back and eventually told me she
wanted
nothing
to
do
with me any more because of the drama I had managed to get involved in
when
I was trying to protect her. That is a list of ways how every friendship that
was
important
to
me
fizzled out since I was a child, and every time it was the same circle, I felt
safe
and then it crumbled. I don't pick one best friend now, not just because I'm
sick
of
damn
circles
but because I have so many important friends now that I can't just pick one.

I think I broke the circle.

I hope so anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Disqus for Queens Of The Wild Frontier

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails